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ThereAfter

Planning guide

Record one family story, in your own words

By ThereAfter

You do not have to start with a complete life story. One ordinary scene can hold details that only you remember: a familiar room, a family saying, a meal, a journey, or the day something changed.

Choose a memory you would like another person to understand. Write a few paragraphs or make a short recording. You can keep the first version private and decide later whether to share it.

Choose a scene you can describe.

Instead of trying to cover an entire decade, begin with one moment. What happened? Who was there? What do you remember seeing, hearing, or thinking? You do not need to make the memory dramatic. A small detail can help someone understand everyday life as you experienced it.

Give a future reader enough context.

Add your name and the date you are writing or recording. Identify the people and places in the story, including relationships that may seem obvious to you today. If you know roughly when the event happened, include that too. The date of the event and the date you recorded your recollection are different pieces of information.

Leave uncertainty visible.

It is fine to write “I think this was around 1998” or “I remember the room, but not the street name.” Distinguish what you experienced yourself from what someone later told you. If a photograph, letter, or other record helps date the event, note where that information came from. You can preserve a meaningful recollection without claiming every detail has been independently verified.

Keep your own words.

For a written version, begin with “I remember…” and follow the scene. For a recording, try answering one prompt at a time. A practice recording can help you check that your voice is audible. You can stop, start again, or leave a natural pause; it is your account to shape.

Save the story with its context.

Give the file a descriptive name and keep a second copy somewhere you control. Store a short note with the recording so the people, dates, and permissions are not separated from it. Check that your saved copies open and play. No storage method lasts forever without attention, so review them occasionally.

Choose what to share.

A memory can include other people's private experiences. Consider what you have permission to share and whether some details should stay private. If you record someone else, ask their permission and agree on the intended use. Saving a story does not itself arrange who will receive it or when.

Your one-story worksheet

  1. Working title:
  2. Recorded by / date recorded:
  3. Approximate date and place of the event:
  4. People involved and their relationship to you:
  5. The moment I remember:
  6. A detail I do not want to lose:
  7. Why it matters to me:
  8. What I experienced myself / what I learned from someone else:
  9. Details I am unsure about / records that may help:
  10. Who may receive this / what should stay private:
  11. Where I saved the original and a second copy:

Use these prompts in your own private document. There is no need to send ThereAfter your answers.

About this resource

You can use this worksheet on its own, in your own document. When you’re ready, a story like this can become part of your Memorial. If you are preparing a message to be shared after death, our free message-planning guide explains questions to consider about the message and its delivery.